April 3rd 2020
1:05 am, EST

It’s been nearly four years now, but it still creeps me out when my cats turn on my phone to review my Twitter account and see which cat of my is trending higher than which cat, and whose cat pictures look better than whose cat poses. Argh. It’s rather exhausting, sometimes.

Honestly. You see pictures of a Disney princess talking to animals, and they make it look so wonderful. Then you see the movie Enchanted, and they make it look awful. No one ever sees reality. Intelligent animals can just freak you the heck out, man.

They’ve got personality. If you think your cat is bad now? Just wait until you try talking to them. All bets are off. There’s no turning back after that. No. No way.


July 8th 2021

5:59 pm EST

Oh la la la. Wasn’t my life so great before covid? Ha. If I only knew.

But anyway. My cats.

My cats don’t care about Twitter right now. They’ve moved on to their own chat room that they established called Fish Bone. I’m not even kidding. Fish Bone. I bet your cats are on it.

Because I did write about talking to your cats somewhere, or maybe it’s just that covid hit and everyone was left watching YouTube and they found me talking to my cats and started doing it themselves.

They didn’t have anything else to do, did they?

And I’m kinda ticked about that, honestly. Because even Hollywood started stealing my stuff. I mean, go ahead and talk to your animals, but don’t put the Robin Wright in the mountains looking at a lady bug that landed on her finger, just like I had on my YouTube channel last year, before covid. I mean, c’mon. Everyone knows.

Anyway, Fish Bone is supposed to be really competitive. I know my cats were worried at one point, especially Lila (my girl kitty), about another competitor site edging in on their action. The other site was a bunch of Democrat cats. Biden caps everywhere.

That’s when I remembered Lila putting on my Trump hat. I barely wore it, but she loved that thing. I only put pics of her up on Twitter once, but I guess it was enough. All the Biden cats got together and started their own site!

But that’s the Democratic Party for you. Unlimited wealth to start and fund anything. Soros funds black power sites to white power sites and everything in between. Because, as the masons will tell you upon induction, “Every crisis is an opportunity.” Their dynasty gains more and more power every time we are distracted. They get to pass bills because we aren’t looking.

Christmas time is the worse. The US government tripled in size in December 2009. Why? It was the last year the Democrats knew they had the majority and had in Obama, who was really a cover for Hillary.

It turned out that she quarantined an entire wing of the White House and he didn’t even know it. He was under the spell of an artifact for quite some time, until 2014 when I found him. Then I found Hillary.

Life is full of surprises.

My cats the least of them.