RECRUITING CHAEL SONNEN (FICTION)

Recently I recruited Chael Sonnen, and I think my readers can tell. That’s not good. That’s a bad, bad sign. I cannot have them going out there and thinking, “Well, this book isn’t fiction after all!!! She must be serious!!!”

But I can’t blame them. I’m not really giving them anywhere else to turn, am I?

You see, Chael Sonnen never won a belt. And apparently, even though he’s in the beat-a-guy-up-with-your-hands business, having a big glittery piece of jewelry around your waste is what everyone is fighting for. Except Chael Sonnen.

And that’s why I recruited him.

Well. Not exactly. I didn’t recruit Sonnen because he didn’t have a belt. I recruited him because of the reasons why he didn’t have a belt. Unfortunately, I don’t know if any sports fan, never mind a fan of MMA itself, could tell me any of those reasons. They are blinded by gold.

And boy. Doesn’t that just work out swell for the liars of the world.

But as one whose job is to take those guys out, I can definitely describe why I hired Chael. In fact, I knew almost immediately, when I watched him fight for the first time, that I would be inviting him to join the team. And he has. And he’s kicking a**.

But I doubt the world would believe me. They would tell me, “Sonnen!? But he doesn’t have a belt!” How far we have fallen from reality. As if a sparkly piece of leather does anything to anyone other than make them sparkle.

I’m going to tell you why I not only hired Chael, but called him the best fighter in MMA. I have a lot of reasons, but like I said, nearly everyone reading my feed is second guessing me. After all I’ve said, done and predicted… they still doubt me on Chael.

And that’s okay. They don’t know what I know. But they seem to think they do. So… I’d better get to it. I just wanted to say one thing first, so that you know where I am coming from:

I said Chael Sonnen was the best fighter.
I didn’t say he was the best champion.

People today get those two confused. And before my readers start to think, “Katherine has gone looney tunes. She can’t handle a Trump loss!!! She’s saying nutty things!!!”— let me stop everyone right there… and school you on the difference. The champions in MMA are rarely the best fighters. Most of the world knows that. But there’s a few that don’t. Let’s go over who, how and why that is. Not many bother covering this stuff. I sure wish they would…

Lesson One:
The Fans

Have you ever noticed that Pay Per View only sells 1-3 million on a good fight? Oh, I’m sure you think that’s a lot, especially when you take into account their super high rates. It’s such a rip off. But then again, the fighters are shortening their lives with each punch. I suppose a few years worth of another’s life is worth $50 bucks. (Oh wait. An event stretches out over four hours. How many fighters get hit in the head? Holy smokes. The months lost with every hit by fighters combined is… Ohhhhh!!! Ouch. I take that back. It’s cheap.)

Of course, the fans aren’t told the fighters are dying out there. Each fight is worse than a car accident, and they’re only given a month or so to heal before the next one. But I digress. Pay Pal doesn’t sell to many viewers. And that’s because of who their audience is: the West.

Fans know that fighting happens all over the world, which tricks them into believe the world out there isn’t all that different from America’s. But it is. It really, really is.

Giant guns. Roving armed gangs. Sudden evacuations. Rampant hijackings. The rest of the world is not like America.

You’ve seen this on TV too, and it still doesn’t sink in. Cars are filming, and suddenly, your favorite characters or actors are pulled over by a van with guns. And it’s not the military. The TV crews from the USA panic or freeze. They can’t believe anyone in the world uses violence to get what they want.

Instead, the TV crews think, “But violence is for the cage! The boxing ring! What is it doing here!? People don’t use it— out in the open like this!!!” But they do. It’s America that’s the weirdo. We are unusual.

We have different colors living in the same nation and attending school together. That is unusual. We have freedom of religion. That is unusual. And we have the smallest number of underage marriages and honor killings in the world. Even in the UK, more than 4,000 underage girls disappear from their classrooms, never to return again. They’ve been traded for money, cattle or stock shares in a marriage deal, despite walking this earth for only 8-16 years.

It’s so bad, the UK has started police units. So the muslims began funding their own schools, where teachers support it, and the young girls vanish without any record of it. If they are lucky, the girls manage to reach a phone to call for help. If they aren’t, they face a life of bearing 12-20 children, starting as soon as she’s able (hence the underage part). In most strands of Islam, bearing children is your way to heaven. It’s the same way in Mormonism.

Don’t be shocked.

But if you’ve ever seen a video of an honor killing take place, which happens within the second largest religion in the world, then you’ll know this:

Fighting happens outside the ring for 90% of the world.
We are the weirdos, because we don’t.

Hell. The middle east cuts off the heads of prisoners during their sports season. I can’t really blame Anderson Silva for blowing off 112. If he is in fact a part of the LGBT community (the Beverly Hills mansion doesn’t help him here) then he’d definitely want to avoid a UFC branch in the Middle East. He’d be considered an outlaw there, and a trip to do his job might land him in prison.

And I’m dead serious about that. Concentration camps for our gay friends in this world still exists. We’re just lucky enough to live here, in the one land with a Bill of Rights.

I hope I’m making my point. The word fight means something very different to the MMA fans who are reading my feed, than the word fight means to the majority of the world. They may be too suppressed by socialist governments to have a voice, but you can take a second here and get a good taste.

Do you see how easily this immigrant from outside of the West takes down four officers in Sweden? Sweden is the pinnacle of Western liberalism. You can tell: the officers have no idea what the word fight really means.

Well, I do.

I respect fans. But they’ve been fooled. They think a belt means “champion.” I select my champions very, very differently.

Lesson 2:
The Real World

In truth, the majority of my followers are wondering why I’ve suddenly started writing about cage fighting. That might have to do with Election Night. Nothing makes me want to fight more than injustice and a loss of Civil Liberties. As it stands, it looks like about 1/3 of all mail-in votes never reached the ballot box in battleground states.

Maybe that was it. Or maybe it was just the perfect time to recruit a guy like Chael Sonnen. (And Jorge Masvidal. But that’s another story.)

Look. I am a fighter.

That’s my job: fighting. I do it at lunch. I do it at dinner. And I do it early in the morning, when I’ve woken my husband up from either all the pain I’m in, or because of something I’ve found in my research.

In fact, I’d say that most of my research is done in an effort to improve my fighting. And readers either just don’t know it, just don’t believe it or are just figuring it out. But it doesn’t change the truth: I fight. Day in and day out. Period.

I lead fighters. My team has a seamstress. My team has an inventor. My team has a psychologist. But every single one of them are doing their jobs with one goal: to help us fight.

Because most of my team is comprised of bad guys like Chael Sonnen. Some carry an axe, some carry two. Some zap with their fingers, some zap with their words. Some of them can kill with a stare. Some carry a large staff. But all of them fight.

If there’s one thing I know? It’s fighting.

They fight small guys. They fight large guys. They fight nations. They fight dens. I lead them, like a general. Sometimes I get in there myself and fight with them. Sometimes I do the fighting without them. We win. I know fighting.

Millions, if not billions, across the world are still alive because of my fighting skills. The leaders of nations you’ve never even heard of ask me for my opinions. You’d be stunned a who you do know, that calls me every day.

I know fighting. But I guess I’d better prove it.

Lesson Three:
The Hidden World

Before I start to tell you what a true fighter is, I’m going to remind you that you always say, “Who is the best fighter… IN THE WORLD!” You don’t say, “Who is the best fighter in the UFC,” or “in BodogFights,” or in “Bellator.” No. No one, but no one! says, “who is the best fighter in this very limited and commercialized band of contracts?” Oh, no no no. What is it you always say?

Oh. That’s right. “Who is the best fighter?” And so I answered you.

And you hailed down the crap.

So when I tell you what defines a fighter, I don’t want to hear, “Well – no – we only meant, ‘In Dana White’s Thug World!'” Because you know what I’d say, right? (After I’d reminded you of these previous claims of yours, of course…)

I would say, “Did you notice that Connor McGregor appeared right before the Reebok deal? And disappeared just in time for Jake Paul to take the Venum deal? To destract fans from all the money and rights these deals take from the fighters?”

See. I know people. Not just the supernatural types. I gots connections! You’d be surprised. Or maybe not. Anyway – it was fun confirming that story. But it does prove a few key points already:

  • Fighting in the UFC, like any other studio in Hollywood or bank on Wall Street, comes with restrictions, because…
  • Sponsors affect fights
  • Bookies affect fights, and of course
  • Dana White is a gambler

If you can’t see how any of those could or would taint a belt, then you are a member of a cult and can’t see clearly. But gambling industries often do that. If Dana White really wanted it to be a true sport, he would have played his fights like BodogFights, with stretchers and real refs, just like al the other sports.

But instead, Dana White has built an empire where a ref allows a fighter to hold his opponent in the guillotine choke hold for 90 seconds, not the 3 seconds that may save his life down the road. Instead, White goes for moments of complete chaos with threats of retaliation that never actually materialize. Every punishment is “in the future,” after a horrific Dana White experience.

But here’s the thing. Fan don’t understand: certain ‘whales’ in the gaming industry won big on that fight. Some millionaires and billionaires forgave Dana White a few of his gambling debts, because he fixed the ref in a certain fight.

And you want me to pick the guy DANA loves? You want me to believe that HIS f’d up system of tearing up fighters as soon as possible, so that they don’t have long and illustrious careers full of exciting nights for the fans who love them — the system that ended Cat Zingano, Ronda Rousey and Meisha Tate’s careers in – what – a year? Two years?

Have you watched the Meisha Tate vs Ronda Rousey fight again? How many fights did both still have in them?

But no. Dana White can never let anyone beat him. And Ronda Rousey beat him. She said females would be great in the MMA. He fought her for years. And then, it turned out, she was right. So he had to take her.

The payback? “Here. Date one of the infamous MMA guys that has a history of hurting his girlfriends. In fact, my guys have been reported 4x more than the NFL players, but we use those stories to pump a fight. So let me know if and when you’ll get clobbered. I’ll be sure to make fight night out of it…”

And she was never the same again. You can watch the tapes. Rousey before Travis Browne. Rousey after him. Two different people. The Before Rousey could not be rocked off her feet, even in a conversation. The After Rousey couldn’t even stand toe-to-toe with an opponent at weigh-ins. She blinked.

It’s hard to watch. But she never won after Travis “UFC Fighter Boyfriend” Browne stepped into her corner… and cornered her. That will shake any woman – violence during sex. Violence during love. Violence from someone you trusted. And you’re told ‘you deserved it. you made me do it.’

Women are never the same after that. And I bet Dana White loved that.

He loves making moves like that on everyone…

Except Chael Sonnen. Sonnen caught on pretty fast. And that pissed Dana White off to no end…

With absolutely no affect on Sonnen’s career.

Lesson 4:
The Ultimate Fighter

That impresses me. When you can fight outside of the cage just as hard as you fight in the cage, you’ve already scored a point. But when you fight just as smart outside of the cage as you do inside of the cage, which is much much harder (name me one training camp for making it through life without getting beat up), then you’ve got my attention.

Let me give you an example: Chael Sonnen was the very first guy in the entire UFC to receive a drug test by USADA. The number one favorite, with the number one views, with the number one salary… gets hit with a drug test first.

And when does he get the second test? Days later. Literally 12 days.

Name me someone else treated the same way. Vitor was saved a fight though. A lot of guys were protected from Chael. And I can see why. That’s why I hired him.

Okay fine. Let’s address the elephant in the room. And then we’ll talk the “ultimate” champ.

Lesson 5: The Drugs.

Listen to Nate Diaz when he tells you “everyone is one steroids.” This is not tennis. This is cage fighting. Everyone is on something. It’s necessary to stay alive. We live in a new world now, where hormone therapy is used on children— and states say it’s legal. Yet fighters are spit on for using them to sustain less life-impairing damage. No one spits on parents for shooting up their kids. No one is testing parents and stopping them from earning a living. Funny how that works, right? Adults earning a paycheck are nailed because they hurt the betting odds. Kids in development aren’t nailed because… well… they’re kids.

Yeah. That’s the world we live in. I’d argue it’s even worse for kids. I’d argue USADA needs to test for illegal substances, not legal.

And never forget: Lance Armstrong beat USADA. He was given tips on when the random tests were to occur. Why? Money. He was big business.

The problem is: Chael was a small business owner. And a Republican. That’s two things in an upcoming Presidential Election that simply could not stand. In this video, he helps out small businesses in Melbourne, Australia. Starbucks paid for the Conservative Sweeps. He’s on the wrong side of the fence, as it were.

My point is: I am not going to fault a guy when he is training the same as everyone else in the business. I mean, look at Ben Askren, the guy who called for USADA. He’s the least athletic looking man you’ll ever see. A fan called him a couch potato. And maybe he was. Which is why Dana never hired him. It was sort of forced on him.

In the UFC, and MMA in general, they expect certain things from their fighters, and that requires enhancers. Without drugs, there is less blood on the mat at fights. And bloodless matches don’t sell as well, right Dana White? Because it’s just sooo natural for men to open their mouths wide after a fight, flex their muscles till their neck pops out, and gurgle a roar.

Sonnen flattened a guy in 18 seconds. He just ran to his corner, jumped up and down hugging them… and then checked on the guy. He was concerned. You tell me – does that kind of behavior get White excited? Or does he prefer a chest pounding guy that straddles the grate and roars at the fans? Like a bull from hell?

Anyhow. I think we all know the answer. And that explains a big part of why the UFC stays down in the world of sports. Even Nick Diaz says it: “they’re back in the stone age.”

I just thought I should explain, since I was a school teacher and taught my students what drugs did to their bodies. Marijuana’s CBD is amazing. The THC scares the hell out of me. But kids hang on the THC, and it changes their brains. And CBD can have traces of THC, so it’s only save for 25 year olds and up.

I haven’t changed my stance as a teacher. But I’m realistic when it comes to fighting. If its an industry standard – practically required or you don’t get a fight – I’m not going to ‘Scarlet-Letter’ the guy and demote him. Plenty of guys are on much, much worse in fights – and we never see them get nailed.

So let the media scream at Sonnen. It’s just another burial of another Republican. Another Conservative Sweep. If he had been raising money for Starbucks instead, I think ol’ Chael would be a champion.

Back to Lesson 4:
The Ultimate Fighter, con’t

So. Why did I hire Chael Sonnen? Wait. Scratch that. Why did I call him the best fighter? The reasons are the same, but I think some of you are here with only the UFC in mind, and those gold glittery belts. I tend to think of the 2,000 foot giants that are assembling in Russia. They’ve started to ride large beasts. I can barely even picture it.

I sent Chael up there. He took a look. And he didn’t run. Name another cage fighter that would do the same thing.

In fact, he had some tips on destroying the things.

Not one of us had thought of those things. Not the leader of the magic city in Russia, who is 1,000 years old. Not me. And not the business owner who have lived there for generations. Nope. It was Chael Sonnen (and another fighter I invited) who just stretched his neck back for a while, and then said: “Here’s what you do.”

Most people run. I am dead serious.

So no. I don’t tend to focus on a fighter’s standing within the UFC. A belt holder danced around the ring and his belt wasn’t striped from him. I doubt that man would get on a flight to Russia, never mind face the cold win to view the giants.

No. When I measure a fighter, I’m asking, “How well does he know the Art of War?” Because it’s Sun Tzu who is on my wall, not some fighter and his belt. And Chael Sonnen fulfills the tenents of that Master of War better than any opponent I’ve seen on the roster.

Sun Tzu (Wikipedia : https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sun_Tzu)

Oh, I suppose you think it’s always about wins. But those who study Sun Tzu will tell you: it’s not about battles. It’s about the war. And Sonnen won the war.

Nobody wins the war in MMA. Nobody.

But he did. (I have a feeling the giants have met their match.)

____

I mentioned Jorge Masvidal. He’s already taken out a serial killer. Our Father knows us so much better than we know ourselves. I’m always surprised by what he has in store for each of us. I learn a lot about each person, as their jobs come across the board.

My job is simply to help them. I’ve had to talk to Masvidal a lot. Not Sonnen. But Sonnen hasn’t had to kill – yet. But there’s something different about killing a giant than killing your own fellow human… (even if you do find his pile of wallets from previous victims in the RV drawer). It’s never boring around here.

The End

December 6th 2020, 4:44 am

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UPDATE

July 8th 2021, 1:05 pm

Chael is doing great, by the way. He and another UFC fighter went over to Star, the ancient city of magic out in the white ice of Russia, and helped them develop techniques to defeat the large contingent of giants out there. The giants had been arming themselves for an attack, which is another sign that it’s the end. Since then, the Great War has begun, and Chael has played an amazing part in it. I write about him every once in a while on my new Twitter account! @prophetsjournal!

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This journal entry is an extra from the 2019 book A Prophet’s Journal. New entries to the journal can be found here and on Twitter.