THE NEW JOE BIDEN | FICTION

I am so screwed. Joe Biden is President. In his first two days he signed 37 executive orders. Trump signed 5 in his first week.

Dammit. I am sooooo screwed!!!!

I did post about how he banned free speech in one of them… but c’mon. You know that’s not enough. That’s not nearly enough to convince the public that Joe Biden really is the President.

When I know he’s not.

I. Am. S-C-R—- (You get the picture.)

This is an extra from Katherine’s novel, The Prophet’s Journal. Check Australia listings for the TV series based on it!

You see, I know things. Like: Biden is really Trump. Those were the orders! And Kamala is really Obama. He’s loving it. Dr. Jill Biden is Hillary. She got to sit in the same seat for the 2021 Inauguration as she did for the 2017 Inauguration. She rather enjoyed that.

And Randy (you haven’t met him yet) is the family dog- the one in all the papers. He pees on everyone. And gets away with it. He’s a Biden.

No pun intended, but it’s a real b*tch, trying to pretend I have no idea. My job is to somehow act like the real Joe Biden is in office. Otherwise, my incredibly smart followers on social media will know something is up.

But how can I!? Trump-Biden just sat his White House staff down in the Oval Office ‘to have breakfast,’ at the last minute. Instead, he told them that they were going to get to know one another better- that it was important for team building.

When it was all over, everyone was stripped bare. Pun intended. Not only had each shared their darkest and deepest secrets (killing a grandfather to eating trash) but they were naked and covered in their own cross-contaminsted pee.

That’s right. I said cross-contaminated pee. Although they fear amd worship Biden enough to wet their pants for him, that’s not what happened. That, actually, would ne a much-less traumatic memory for me.

Instead, when Trump-Biden exclaimed that it was time to swap blood, he then held up his hand and told them that, due to the pandemic, intermingled pee would have to do. So they took turns, peed at the center of the Oval Office, and then he said: “Good! … Now roll in it.”

And they did.

He didn’t. He didn’t do any of it. And not one of them noticed. Trump looks like Biden. And they worship Biden. He wrote an Executive Order for them to lose 30 pounds each yesterday, and they still undressed and rolled in pee for him.

I don’t get it. But Trump-Biden does. And he’s all-in. Can’t say that I blame him, really. I mean, he had the US Marines shut down NBC! Raided and roped up every staff member, lobby to the sixth floor, and killed its powergrid.

I mean, the US Marines took out 147+ terrorist organization under Trump. Maybe they figured, “What’s one more?” So much for the “long-anticipated” new NBC studios in DC! NBC Universal is dark. Trump-Biden strikes again.

Now, I wanna be clear that the real Joe Biden is alive, well and living it up! Kind of like Trump when Obama took over for him in 2017. Trump had a blast too, though… it was slightly different. Joe Biden didn’t know the switch was coming. When it hit, he cried, “Freeeedom! At last! I am free! Anything is possible!” And he took a refrigerator repairman gig in New York.

Trump did know the switch was coming. Unlike Biden, Trump wanted to do his Inauguration Speech. He’d been through a lot to get it. I didn’t blame him.

But when he was done, he and Obama, who helped swear him in, went into the Capital together and gave the Secret Service a slip. In a closet, Trump put on an Obama suit. Obama put on a Trump suit. Then they reappeared in public, and ceremoniously walked down the Capital steps together. Trump-Obama left. Obama-Trump stayed.

When Trump hopped on the helicopter, he told the pilot to fly. “Just keep flying,” he told the pilot. We didn’t see him much, after that, for three years.

Lucky.

He missed the entire Mueller Investigation. Obama deserves a medal and a new start on life, after living through that. Behind the scenes was much more ugly than in front.

And Trump has no clue. All he covered was covid. Like I said- lucky!

Biden, on the other hand, is a whole different ballgame. There’s a reason he yelled, “Freedom!” He had a ton of handlers. He’s not well. When I suggested naked-runs to him after the election, he took off running, naked, and his massive team took two months to finally stop him ahead of time.

I couldn’t stop him. They put him in a cage after his first run, and I got a good glimpse into his life.

We didn’t know The Room was going to give us miracle rings until Jan 19th! The night before the inauguration! It was late-notice for everyone, but they took to their stations beautifully.

Now Biden is lucky.

I check in on him everyday, making sure he’s happy and snuggled in at the Trump Hotel in New York. No one would expect him there, and the Chinese cock-fighting bunch just think, “Hey! Cool! It’s Biden! He’s pretty good at this!!!” And Biden is happy as a clam.

I put him at the Carnival on Inauguration Day (those were the orders from above, and boy- does He know his children!!!) OOOOOOhhhhh man did Biden have fun! Sugar, sugar, sugar! But then I found him the next morning asleep in a dumpster. That’s when I put him in a Trump Hotel.

Anyhow, to keep everyone straight we began calling Donald Trump, who was playing Biden at the White House, “Trump-Biden.” I think we made the change after Trump (Trump-Biden) ordered polar bears be flown in and held at the Democratic National Headquarters in DC.

Trump’s own dupe is in Mar-a-Lago. I told him to stay inside. He has.

Whew!!! It’s a lot to juggle!!!

But it still doesn’t change the fact that I’m screwed. Trump-Biden has written about 100 Executive Orders in 7 days and the press has their lips zipped. I should be outraged right now, raving on Twitter about our lost rights and damage to the Constitution!!!

But I don’t have it in me. I can’t get angry. I’m in too much shock.

No one questions Trump, as Biden. No one.

Not when he slapped CNN’s Don Lemon so many times, a tooth fell out. It was the Inaugural Ball. Lemon just stood there and smiled the whole time, as his teeth became loose. And everyone smiled as it happened, too. Trump said, “I’ve learned. You pay these people compliments and they’ll do anything. I said, ‘Good job son!’ Way to go, son! What a man!…”

And the guy just took it, despite the bleeding.

Hence the pee-ring drama this morning.

Hillary is having a blast. Hillary/Dr. Jill Biden is giving her husband the space he needs to take control, finally. When Nancy Pelosi was giving Biden (Trump) a backrub at the Inaugural Ball, Trump-Biden turned to her and said, “Maybe later we can rub some other parts?”

He snapped a photo of her expression. When he refused to delete it, Dr. Jill Biden did not come to Ms. Pelosi’s aid.

Instead, Hillary-Dr. Jill prescribed Nancy Pelosi Depends at the Inaugural Ball. (Sounds like it wasn’t a good night for the top-paid lobbyist on the hill, does it?) But it gets better.

Hillary-Jill has created a quarantine in the middle of DC, in the old subway tunnels. Then, she told me yesterday, she plans to quarantine them by Space Shuttle. The end result, after a life in space, will be an unfortunate rocket crash. No survivors.

I met Hillary when she was on the 2016 Election trail. She hung up on me when she learned that I’d spoken to Trump. We’ve come a long way. In these End Times, the Father of Lies has raised up women. They dominate, as in the days of Noah, partnering with the Dark to destroy men.

The worst slavers in the world have been women: Elizabeth I, Isabella I, Victoria and now, Elizabeth the I, whose face is on the money of every impovershed nation of black peoples on earth. In total, her family controls 53 nations, the majority of which are 3rd World. Of course slavery is at an all time high.

But God wins. In the end, He wins. It’s not even close. And if there’s one thing Hillary does best? It’s picking the winner in a match. And she is the second best lawyer – no- tied with the best lawyer I know, and he’s not a muggle. He’s been in the world of miracles for a long, long time.

Anyhow, I am a woman. Hillary is a woman. Helen is a woman. Roxanna is a woman. Sigma is a woman. Only God would know that the best answer to the chaos and viscious nature of female rulers and witches…

…would be female believers, servants of the Light.

Men believe the Father of Lies. They believe only men can kill. Dude. Eve partnered with a talking snake over her own husband and easy-going King. I don’t know how long Adam and Eve lived before they ate their death, but – well, I do know that was 7000 years ago, this year.

And we still have to tell the men, “She will poison you and take the cash. Young girls don’t bother with old men anymore.” And the men are shocked. Really!? After 7000 years… sigh. Learn.

Where was I? Oh right. Women and the White house. Yeah. We replaced Jennifer Psaki too. She’s back and she’s been elevated to Press Secretary. Of course.

I can’t tell you the name of who took on the role of Psaki, but I don’t blame them for enjoying it so much. This ring-bearer worked in DC before we came along. Psaki was on her list, as they say. There was a Psaki-disaster viral video within 24 hours. Nice.

I have a hard time understanding why journalists were shocked by her, though. These journalists lived through 8 years of scorching that lady under the Obama-Biden Administration, especially during the Snowden revelations… only to put her in power again!!! Of course she’s been replaced. You better believe it.

The real Psaki? She’s in Hungary. I wish her well. *cough*

As for Obama-Harris (Barack Obama replacing Vice President Kamala Harris), Kamala’s very-white husband grrabbed her a** at the Ball. Obama was offended and the guy is no longer around.

Instead, Obama (Obama-Harris) is finally having fun with Trump (Trump-Biden). Those two were like oil and water under the Trump administration. It’s gpod to see them finally get along.

You see, I’d watched Obama change in 2014. Trump didn’t see anything. He still hated him. (Remember when Trump went on YouTube to offer cash or something for Obama’s birth certificate? Oi.) It was a rough road for those two, for years.

But then the 2020 election hit, and The Room created two desks: one for each of them. They’ve sat next to each other, working to save the world, for months. But that wasn’t the tie that bound them in the end, I’ve since learned.

Instead, it was Obama’s love of pranking Pence. He originally pranked Biden. He has a thing about Vice President’s, I guess. When The Room stuck those two together in one place, instead of the two just swapping places all the time, Trump got in on the action.

In fact, I just learned about a prank they pulled on the Germans this week, although it happened last Fall. Have you seen this? Sunday with Lubach’s “Official White House Message from POTUS to PHONY JOE,” posted on November 9th. This is real footage of the real White House! I freaked out when I saw it:

I felt dumb when I called an unscheduled staff meeting over it. Guess who sent that channel the White House tapes? You betcha! Trump and Obama. (A GENIUS move. The Secret Service will be investigating that show until those feudal Lords cry.)

But I wish they’d told me. Ii nearly had a heart attack!

***

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is why I am so screwed.

I know Joe Biden isn’t running America. He isn’t even ruining it. He’s watching his favorite cattoons in a Trump Hotel bathrobe.

In the meantime, every Execitive Order has been written by God, and His hand of Judgement. Justice may not look the way anyone expected it to (a 12 foot Biden is chasing a journalist down the street in DC as we speak, because Trump found the Grow button on his ring), but it’s justice none the less. (You heard the pee story. They’re killers.)

And America isn’t much better. Read the Archko Volume. The Sanhedrin were concerned, because Jesus of Nazareth offered “such an easy” road to God and Grace, that, well, “who would not run towards it, in the whole world?” It was offensive to them, that God would do so much in return for so little.

All we had to do was love Him.

***

He told me, at the start of the year, that this election was about choices. People were making their final decisions before the New Earth comes, and the Old falls away. Read Revelations 20.

And so I watch as volcanos and earthquakes tear us apart, and how the climate scientists, funded by Germany, are now silent. I watch as my people prepare their final loads for the planet my parents made for me, long ago, and leave.

They leave me behind, with my warriors, to fight. So many are new. They are only just learning to create Holy Fire. If I had it my way, they’d be burning every idol, white and cold, of Astarte around the globe. I hate that b*tch most of all. She sits above every port, bringing the destruction of Babylon to her cities.

And I must pretend like there was a coup and Biden has overthrown the White House, when it couldn’t be any further from the truth.

Hell, Biden-Trump just said, “anybody can sue anybody.” And they obeyed!!! That’s the end of 230!!! The world cam sue Google, Twitter and Facebook now. How am I supposed to explain that!!!???

Like I said, I am screwed. (Anybody who knows how to hide the stress of running God’s Army from a world-class team of FND therapists, please leave a comment below. Thanks.)


Read the first chapter of The Prophet’s Journal, here! Also, new chapters are written every week on Twitter! @prophetsjournal!

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