SUNDAY, APRIL 7TH 2019
The pain is not so bad today. It was beyond crippling this last week. I barely made it out of the house on Friday, and when we returned, I had several episodes.
I hate episodes. They shake and rattle my body, and the pain is just as excruciating as being cut. In fact, being cut doesn’t hurt anymore. Shots? Kids play. I used to have to look away. Now I don’t even flinch.
Yesterday was the aftermath of having dared to leave my home. The body simply cannot handle movement. My breath wheezed when I made the only upright movement of the day – the ladies’ room. But there’s nothing ladylike about my trips in there. I wait and wait and wait until I can’t anymore, because I scream as I move down the stairs.
But I don’t use the bedpan anymore. I’ve made great progress.
This morning was better, much better. Finally. I’m having a good day. It must mean I was right: I was supposed to start writing this today.
Writing is hard. It takes two hands. Twitter’s much easier. 140 characters. One hand – one finger actually – and I get quite a lot across. It may take hours, but hey – it’s built for the disabled. What can I say? I’m incredibly grateful for it. I’ve changed a nation through it (not that Twitter was on board with that of course, but that’s what I have Claire for).
Claire – oh gosh – you know her as that Homeland girl – but she used a robot replacement for most of her scenes last season, after she pretty much forced her way into my organization. If you know any insiders in Hollywood, they’ll tell you! Claire is kind of a bully.
I channeled that bullying into a whole new Claire. I asked my boss what she was made for, as I always do, and He said, “Have her fix the Tube.” The Tube is our healing machine. Lightyears beyond the technology outsiders have to live with. The healthcare industry doesn’t produce any new products that fix us anymore, do they? Oh no. They stopped that 30 years ago. Right around the time the wage gap started.
It was started by one of the organizations I fight. I don’t like them very much. Don’t follow my Twitter if you don’t like hearing the Truth. It hurts to hear. But at least you’re finally free. And those who want to? Can join the fight – and fight back.
But back to Claire. The man who first built the Tube over 50 years ago had passed away, before I became the leader of this organization. Then a glowing blue man and his stupid minions tried to kill Kyle and Tat on one of the Islands we own, and wouldn’t you know it? The Tube was there. Blown up. Just like that. Leaving us with no Tube.
I had to heal everyone, and dang it, I wasn’t allowed to do that very often. And it was my first year in office. We needed it fixed, and then the boss says, “Have Claire do it.” And she did.
The girl who blew me away in Baz Luhrmann’s Romeo & Juliet just took a look at it, and fixed it.
The boss is good. (He made us, after all. ‘Knit us in the womb’ and all that stuff, so I shouldn’t be surprised, but I often am. Or maybe I’m just in wonder. Either way, when Claire fixed that Tube – yeah – I was surprised. And grateful as heck.)
Now Claire has five Tubes around the world, but not everyone in our organization is allowed to use them. That’s because they run on nuclear energy. Claire wanted to run them off of humans – the ones we’ve had to destroy – but I put a stop to that. I didn’t say she was perfect.
Let’s just say, I ‘negotiate’ with Claire a lot.
Certain producers in Hollywood know exactly what I go through. Well – maybe not. That girl’s in her true medium now. She’s expanded. But I hope you at least liked her dress at the Met Gala. (There’s a reason Marc Jacobs couldn’t describe his invention, or even replicate it.)
Lol! Oh yes! Claire doesn’t mind others getting the credit. There’s a gorgeous ‘no spokes’ motorcycle that won awards in Europe and turned all the Motor-junkie’s heads. They did a ‘making of’ video that looked fantastic. But Claire designed it.
She just wanted the win. She’s odd that way.
Again. Hollywood directors understand. A little. A genius is a genius!